Hiccups

There have been a few “tragic flaws” in my character which I obviously was not all that attached to. They were like prom dresses–all poofy and brightly colored and ready for one moment, but not suitable for a new or different occasion. These “sins” were relatively easy for me to overcome, to just walk away from and never look back. Because I had not integrated the sin into my positive sense of identity, I could see the sin for what it was–an ugly and demeaning feature which I was all-too-happy to rid myself of through repentance and prayer.

The sins which spring from my own gift set, from the talents and abilities and personality which God created for kingdom purposes, these are the sins which are like camaflouge in the jungle–hard to find, and hard to snuff out. These are the sins which place worms in the fruits of the spirit. These are the sins for which the potential to re-visit never goes away. These are the mistakes we “fall not on our knees but on our hearts” in repentance of as Vassar Miller puts it.

Nothing makes me realize how hopeless I am without the Grace of Christ than hiccups of faith, mistakes which I can’t seem to learn a full lesson from without repeated offenses. I am beginning to accept the notion that some of these potential errors are like rapidly breeding termites within the trunk of a tree, within the strongest part of that tree, or like cancer cells free-floating through a blood stream before a deadly lump is found. Or perhaps it’s more like my own immune system fighting itself and creating diseased havoc within what should be my healthiest cells.


The Great Physician says in his Scripture (prescription) that it is vitally important what the patient does after the hiccup. Pride must be swallowed fully with a great swig of Living Water, and prayer must follow. After I have fallen once again on my heart, I must pick myself back up and start again and believe in the newness of applied grace.


We hear much from the pulpits much about catastrophic sins, the mistakes you might make and not live to tell about. The error in judgement which might have no reversible track. Yet, the hiccups can build and fester and left unrecognized and unattended can change what was supposed to be, what was planned by God to be that beautiful, intangible quality of a person–that element which is the difference between “craft” and “art.” The hiccups not taken seriously enough can bring down a kingdom, one person at a time, in such an individual and private way that the great tree never knows what eats him.


We must give the best parts of ourselves to God, completely at His disposal and bidding for whatever purpose He so chooses. When we mess up, as soon as we mess up, we must set our feet back on the path of small steps again. Even if it isn’t a matter of our eternity (I’ll leave that to the greats to argue), it’s a matter of our usefulness on this earth while we are here.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5,6


Submitted by Kerri Snell